Monthly Archives: July 2010

When asked “What would you bring with you to a deserted island”, how come no one ever replies, “A boat.”?

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Guns don’t kill people ……. husbands who come home early do!

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Dan has kleptomania, but when it gets bad, takes something for it.

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Life is tough. It’s even tougher if you’re stupid.

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My Dad was a workaholic… Everytime someone mentioned work, he got drunk.

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Girls, if someone presses charges because you slapped em, just tell the police you gave em a high 5 in the face. ;)

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Drunk Driver Goes All General Lee Style Out of DFW

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A girl called me the other day and said “Come on over, there’s nobody home.” I went over. Nobody was home. :/

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Dan’s thought of the day. Facebook is like daycare for adults.

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Tyrone Biggums $450,000 Baltimore crack mix

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