Monthly Archives: May 2012

We are only here for but, a short time.

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OH SHIT!

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My girlfriend says she is going to leave me because I play too much poker……I think she’s bluffing!

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Dan keeps getting mixed up between claustrophobia and homophobia. Which is the one about being in the closet?

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Forgive your enemies it messes with their head.

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They say one in every seven friends has a gambling addiction. My money’s on Dave.

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Jay-Z

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I can walk on a cucumber, Jesus could walk on water. Cucumber is 98% water; therefore I am 98% Jesus. ;)

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I was playing rock, paper, scissors with my woman and threw down blowjob ….. because everyone knows nothing beats a blowjob

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A slutty girl is like the first slice of bread in a loaf. Everybody touches it but nobody wants it.

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